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I did it... I noticed myself smiling and teasing happily with Isis today, an indication I have stepped out from my depression over the lost beloved character. Despite the cold I caught yesterday I feel more awake and content today.
I struggled hard through the past days and the unfair rulings of STs who robbed me of my character... the curse of playing in true moderated settings. And I found the cure by dedicating myself to a new character and between moping and apathy I found the energy to put my sorrow into creativity and I made it.
His name is Zackary and the concept is absolute Steampunk... I started slowly with half moping yesterday with a friend who played the love of my lost character so it was perhaps not the best way to start of seeing her sadness and reminded of it all. Then I played again today and it was incredible fun.
Back in the saddle of rp enjoyment again... beloved character wont be forgotten but I can get past it. Possibly it'll sting every now and then, nothing that can be done about that I suppose. But this is the best medicine for it.
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Must say Isis, my kitty, felt she had a BIG duty on her this past week... She worked hard to be near me and soothed whenever she felt that depression hit in me... sometimes observed me from her sleeping spot and when I looked at her murred and meowed softly. She was on big comforting duty and will get an extra treat tomorrow. It was the same with my fall out with family... that same night I felt so cold and frozen out she did something she normally never do... and it was crawling up into the bed and sleeping close to me, even on top of me, purring. Animals are just great at sensing when something is wrong... and who said cats don't feel compassion for their owners?Current Mood:  sick |
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Yesterday my favorit character I had been playing for two years kicked the bucket after a betrayal and my loved and hated king was dead. He will be missed and like whenever any of my great characters die I always feel like I can't top that or do anything equally good.
Xue Xian, the Crimson Eye of the Storm, dragon slayer and hero of uncompared measurements. May you rest in peace and betrayers get their due in karma. You were the last good king who cared more for the people than the power itself.Current Mood:  sad |
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Who knew work could get so HARD? I feel exhausted after this week with over 65 places every day to deliver to and a huge amount of packages, in particular the heavy printer paper kind to offices.. Please all office workers, remember to in specific tell your delivery firm to deliver it by truck and not us poor couriers breaking our backs having to lift and carry it several times before it reach you.
To people who orders it to their homes, please make sure it doesn't need to be signed with instructions where to put it so we can deliver it even when you aren't home and don't have to spend 10-15min writing notes and having it take place in our cars until we reach the post office.
And dear customer, remember couriers are also people and humans with a regular working schedule and don't yell at them cause they can't spend an infinite time working on your delivery in specific and waiting for you to sign or call about checking things; do instead keep your orders in check so you know what deliveries are going to arrive during your weeks. And don't yell at us cause we can't deliver after our working hours...
Urgh, please let this Friday be a good day and save me from having to deliver winter tires to three different places at once and end up with 12 heavy tires in my car..Current Mood:  exhausted |
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Sep. 2nd, 2009 @ 05:57 pm
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Dentist yanked out my last baby tooth. Kinda said, it is something that has been with me for all of my life, since it came to exist. But after all fillings it had finally had enough, infected the dentist said the best thing to do at this point was simply to pull it out and mend the gap. So I'm getting a nifty implant screwed into my jaw instead. Here's to my first cyborg equipment!
It's going to be pretty costsome fixing up those teeth, but it'll worth it I think. In Sweden we got an awesome deal so when you pass a certain sum of expenses it gets cheaper for you and the state pays the rest. When you reaches over $400 you only pay 50% of the expenses, over $2000 you only pay for 15% of the expenses fixing those teeth. So I think I will probably land at about $1000 doing ALOT of things, including implant and new crown on a tooth, pulling the baby tooth and pulling a wisdom tooth.
Went to a new dentist too cause I had moved and hm... I think I like them, they are a keeper. They were very professional, had good knowledge and was nice to speak to; human even. I was skeptic first, might still be.. .cause my dentist is this quite young looking blonde guy, more like a model than a doctor type. I'll swap him with you my straight friends; you probably want the hot blonde male Swedish dentist to fix your teeth. :P
Worked -really- hard today and now I can't eat dinner for two hours after. Sucks SO much.Current Mood: drained |
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It's great! He has gotten a home now with my friend Micke and his boyfriend Niclas and we are really crossing our fingers it will work out. Micke really wanted to have a cat in their new apartment and it's the first time either of them is having a pet like it. It was fun to watch how they like children did all they could for the attention of the kitty.
I was there for a few moments to lend support to the kitten and he sought me out at first like the mommy cat, so I think that helped the case alot.
The downside is that my allergy wont allow me to have much more than Isis right now and I know I push it with that too... cause I can't give her up. Otherwise I think I could provide a very good foster home for cats on their way to their real homes, social train them and such.Current Mood:  cheerful |
| » RP moment |
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Was tinkering on a story for a character of mine when inspiration struck. This is for the Changeling the Lost game touching by the trauma of the changelings and their insanity. He is a new arrival, which means he just escaped from Arcadia. Posting the intro here for anyone who are rp geeks enough to appreciate a story. It's also to show a little how I have progressed the past rp years since White Wolf HTML chats :) I still don't know how to work those LJ cuts so pardon for that.
I think my favorit to play still are villains or anti-heroes. It feels good to play wicked men. *G*
Briars is the thorns of the Hedge, it's essentially what it consist of, a thorned hedge.
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Rain slithering down the brickwall and washing away the last remains of the unreal and dreamt. Such a thundering representation of reality washed the briars out of his clothes though terrified his fingers raked through the strands, screaming, imagining the briars was still there, still slithering underneath his skin and still tearing his brain apart for her pleasures and want. There the rain had been a representation of her arrival to their den and now he cried out and kicked a bucket far from him, rolling away from the touch of rain and dirt.
The hobo with a brown paper bag in his hand clutched it tighter to his chest with a stare at the stranger who had appeared to fall straight out from the brickwall. One would imagine he would stop drinking to clear his mind but it only made him gulp it down more greedily for the soothing effect.
Reaching up the man stumbled forward until his foot hooked on a cobstone and made him fall into a puddle staring at his own reflection where blood dripped from where briar had cut and tried to make him stay there. Water and rain terrorfied him but only moments back here his memories of why drained swiftly.But even though his wounds healed the scars remained and within his reflection he saw the lack of real human eyes replaced by the onyx black depth as solid as that of a bat and the ears twisted into blackened points, his skin ashen grey and he shrieked again at his sight and thrust his fists into the image.
It was perhaps then he noticed the hobo for the first time whom trembled near the dumpster. A call within him for the blood of another to suffer as he had suffered but he stilled his hand to grasp a broken mirror from the dumpster and smashed it further to the pavement. A shard was taken and he started the frantic work of cutting his hair off as he was not sure if all the briars was out of it and the rain wouldn't catch in it and learn his thoughts.
Irregular and uneven cut like this this stranger made a home in the streets and within a few days he had found charcoal and papers to draw and sell the beautiful potraits of people for money enough to eat. Here he is, but what about the past? Why was he taken?
Aug. 21st, 2009 @ 04:37 pm
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| » Guitar Hero geek moment |
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Vexed. I bid on a copy of Guitar Hero Greatest Hits to be able to play the full band to old songs. I paid a week ago and it hasn't arrived. He claims he sent it, but if he really did it would be here by now.. He has good judgment on his sales though so I'm confused and still.. vexed. It needs to be in my Guitar Hero collection NOW.
I'm a total geek for this game, got the bundle now with drums and everything. My drums broke though so I haven't been able to practice that since I got them. :( Have to find a store that can fix the cord easily and professional and not too expensive.
My level of skills:
Bass - Hard Average 98%
Guitar - Medium (mostly cause I hate having to move my hand..) Average 99%
Drums - Easy Average 92% (just started it out)
Mic- Wut? Hahaha..... seriously, me and singing doesn't add up at all but I can manage Easy to the horror of my neighbour's ears.
I still enjoy the guitar far more than anything, bass is really MEH for me and mic, not at all... Drums I found to be most difficult but fun too. So I'm still a guitar kind of girl but drums is close second.
I just purchased GH Metallica and it was OH so good... and OH so difficult. Average 1000 notes on all their songs on Medium. Can't imagine what amount of notes it is on Hard. Longest was "Mercyful fate" I think the song is called... it was insane 1783 notes and I hit 1773 notes, missed sometime after 700 hits... maybe my perception started to get tired.
*air guitars*
Aug. 21st, 2009 @ 04:27 pm
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| » Rescue kitty |
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He came from a litter in a home where they barely glanced in the direction where the kittens were and said things like "Social? Huh, well... they have started to come up to us now. They love eachother." They let their female cat have a litter because they had heard they should have one litter before spayed.
People still believe that crap in this modern day ruled by real science? Also, if you intend to get a litter of kittens... or puppies or any other animal.. you must know you have to social train them with humans; the sooner the better so they will become good future pets. They have to be handled from the start..
So this litter was social with eachother but had no clue how to be around humans at an age of 12 weeks.
I know Isis hasn't had any bad issues with other cats so I said I could foster him and took him home. First day he sat under the couch shaking at the sight of me. I coaxed with everything I had the second day to try to get him to realize there's nothing wrong with humans, we are cool caring people. At first he couldn't figure out why I wanted to touch him and what petting was for. It was only through playing I managed to reach out to him, playing with him and every now and then carefully touch him while he knew where my hand was; slowly increasing the moments of touches.
The third night he finally placed himself in my bed and slapped my hand with his paws if I tried to touch him and gave me an odd look.
He is finally starting to come out of his antisocial shell with a little patience and love and care. A couple of days ago he walked up to me while I was at the computer and pawed at my leg and let me pick him up and pet him. Once or twice he has briefly slept in my lap and pawed at my keyboard when I typed.
He enjoys petting one moment and then he can suddenly stiffen as if he recalls that isn't normal to him before. I have gotten toys and treats and essentially spoiled him while setting common rules like not allowing him to be on tables or claw furnitures; things he will need to know in his real home.
We are still waiting for someone to want him but people tend to shy away from a shy cat instead of giving him the time he will need to adjust. He is a pretty boy though so I dunno why noone has jumped at it yet to take him home. :) He is very slim and sleek built for a male with long graceful legs and black with just small white hairs on his chest; it's believed he is some kind of mixbreed, perhaps with siamese/oriental. And for every day he comes out of his shell and is becoming a very special and funny cat with his own sense of humor.
And Isis... well she is a cranky old lady about it and the first days refused to come down from the top of the drawer where she often sleeps and glared at me if I tried to touch her. Now she is back to normal against me but still hiss at him if he comes too close.
Aug. 18th, 2009 @ 03:44 pm
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| » Firefly 2 |
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Those Feds with their stick making brains explode.... kinda scared me.
*stunned*
Two by two with blue hands..
That entire episode was pretty amazing and nerv wrecking.
Aug. 17th, 2009 @ 11:09 pm
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| » Firefly |
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First now started to watch this show, it seems pretty cool. Kaylee is such a cutie.. her smile makes one fuzzy inside. I really love the scene in the beginning with her umbrella.
Aug. 11th, 2009 @ 12:08 pm
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| » Lost family |
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I broke with my family, completely. I had messed up my economy some and headed there at the beginning of July to spend three weeks living with my mother and sister. It begun from day one with trashing me; my peronality, life choices, work, and so on. Every day this went on and I couldn't seem to do anything right. I was nervous and as a result became clumsy and both forgot things and dropped things. It in turn became even more snide remarks from my mother and sister.
I noticed my mother had a picture in her wallet when borrowing it to buy cigarettes for her, it was only of my sister. Not any of her other children.. just her; her great successful daughter (as she sees it anyway, my sister can never do anything wrong). When I accidentally spilt or such by the dinner table I got snide remarks and snorts, when my sister did the same she got a laughter for the endearment of the clumsyness..
It took one week and then I ended up in a real physical fight with my sister when she continiously hit down on me for no good reason after dinner and I just had enough and snapped. I told her to quit it or I'd fucking kill her, I wouldn't take her treatment anymore. She laughed at me and said "Or what?" and I pushed her down in the sofa and held her down telling her to apologize. Our mother then rushed forward and told me to let her go and when I did, my sister started with kicks and clawing.
After that I was further told how psychotic I am and abnormal and need help..
Despite that we managed to push ourselves through another week and the snide remarks continued. I was truly more miserable and depressed than I have been in a long time and on the final day, two weeks after I headed there, my mother started to argue about drinking too much of the juice in the fridge and had to start that argue right in the middle of watching a movie on TV.
That was the last drop and I told them both I want nothing more to do with them. My brother lended me some money so I could drive right back home and I have never looked back since. This was three weeks ago.
Know what my mother said the morning after the huge fight and I was preparing to drive home? I had woken up and started to pack the last of my things and was just going to try to eat a little breakfast and vaccuum after Isis hair on the floor; you know, do the decent thing despite how bad it was.
What she said was "Nice, leaving me here with laundry and the cleaning." She also pointed out how she hugged her other children but not me. She could never get me, I had been abnormal since I was born and she should have known how psycho I was when I took apart my dolls and talked to myself when I played in my room as a child. It appears she could never love me because she could never relate to or understand me. She hated that I was different than other children and not the little girl she had planned for. But she got that daughter when my sister was born..
Needless to say, she didn't make it hard for me to leave with that comment. Any other mother would have wanted to talk to their daughter to not lose the contact, try to find a middle ground and exchange apologies. Not my mother.... she simply doesn't get it, and she never will.
*sigh* So this Christmas I will spend alone, and somehow I think I will be happier for it. I'm happier without them. The only times they called was to complain about their problems or borrow money.. I only visited there once, by Christmas. They are simply stress I'll do fine without and I have no regrets even though it may seem strange around the holidays here when friends head to their families to celebrate.
I haven't written about this until now... I think because I'm still trying to recover from it, still feeling emotionally drained. I've had a few nightmares about their comments and hate. No matter how bad it has been it still hurts when you realize your own mother doesn't love you and your father is dead..
I try to focus on work right now and being with my friends, at least happy I live far away from my family where they will never show up by accident. I changed my phonenumber too. My sister contacted me once on IM and wondered if I intended to pay some money for my stay there or what.
That's about how much they care that we have lost contact... Needless to say I blocked and removed her from my list. Same for my mother's IM.
I suppose this has been building up for a long time. I'm just... completely drained now, working on my way to recovery from my own family. A friend of mine had the same problems with hers and also broke off with them. She told me it will feel better with time and I will feel much better for it. I'll simply have to make my own family now with my friends.
Aug. 9th, 2009 @ 04:48 pm
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| » Ajax 2 |
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I woke up feeling slightly disheartened and wondering a little how this would go but still adoring this beautiful creature he is. During the night at 3am he had paced and I quickly walked him to not allow an accident to happen and after that we slept for another 6 hours, he peacefully and without accidents.
He moved over to the bed when he noticed I had woken up and when I laid my head by the bedside he leaned in to give me good morning kisses and then padded off again and got some breakfast.
After dinnertime I took him with me in the car and drove to my friend Ehva and her adopted lurcher Kira. Kira is very dominant and barked his ears off for a short while to show who is the boss. He tucked in his tail and submitted to her and all was well after that. And then... Ajax fell completely heads over heels in love with Kira. :) He observed her very closely and started to imitate her behavior with us humans. She is very loving and playful, and absolutely love us humans. So when she ran over for kisses Ajax soon followed her positive behavior and started to do the same.
He was more reserved towards Ehva but started to bound even more with me and glanced to me to see what I thought or did about things.
When we came inside it was the first time I saw him wag his tail and showing me what kind of dog he really is under that insecure shell. He is nervous around hands and food offered so we think people in the streets offered him food to beckon him close enough to hit him. So now we are working on a few simple and careful exercises to get him used to hands and learn we aren't going to harm him when he gets treats offered.
The highlight of today was when we found a fenced area and closed it up and then set the dogs free and watched as they fully stretched out. Ajax turned into a COMPLETELY different dog and jumped around with total happiness, rushed over to me for kisses and wagging tail and even at one point rolled over to his back for a quick belly rub.
I'm so glad to have seen all this today and now know there is definitely hope for Ajax to reach harmony with me and even other people, and his therapy help is Kira. I and Ehva decided to see eachother more often and let Kira influence Ajax to become more secure and understand we don't mean him any harm.
Regarding petting he isn't scared of it per say... he doesn't seem to understand what it is for, like he isn't used to be petted.
He already lift his ears and looks to me when I say his new name.. and it has just gone a day.
Jun. 5th, 2009 @ 11:49 pm
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| » Ajax |
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He is so far behaving a little oddly, like an abused dog. He flinch a little when you pet him. Otherwise he has eaten, drinken and even peed outside and now sleeps... but he is a little unsure of me right now and glances at me carefully sometimes and gave me a little kiss when I took of his leash after a walk. But he acts like he walks on eggshells around me, and Isis. Her first reaction was a hiss at the door and he didn't know if he dared to enter our home at first. After that he ignored her completely, ignored me some.. and Isis acts like normal and doesn't care much about a dog being here either, glances at him sometimes and then just rubs happily up against my legs. She clearly doesn't see him as any threat and he doesn't seem the least interested in her. This leads me to believe he must be experienced with interacting with cats from his past, his home before he was thrown out probably had cats.
He was MUCH more handsome than I imagined from the pictures..
Now all the hard work begins to gain his trust and affection. He wants love, he is just very, very shy right now... I have settled on leaving him alone for today some, let him sleep and rest fully after his adventorous and stressful journey to Sweden.
He is sleeping right now, sound and deep, loving his really soft and comfy bed. He laid on the floor in the kitchen at first before I moved his bed in there, and then he claimed it at once and nuzzled his nose in.
Excited to see how next day will be and practicing patience now. I have great faith in him, I know he will come around once he gets to know me. It might take days... but it might also take weeks before he comes out of that shell and grows confidence. I know when that time comes I will have a really great friend and I don't feel bad about not having chosen the at once affectionate puppy, this still feels good despite him right now mostly ignoring me.
Another sort of funny thing... I offered food to him and he wouldn't touch the bowl at first, just looked at me several times until he was -absolutely- sure I would let him have the food and only settled to eat when I sat down on the floor and seemed disinterested in the food and relaxed. He treats me like this scary new alpha right now.
Jun. 4th, 2009 @ 11:52 pm
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| » Look at those eyes |
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http://www.neverneverland.se/aktuella.hundar.2008/murphy/aktuell.murphy.htm
Today I'm picking up my rescue dog from the airport. He is from Ireland where he was found starved horribly and with minch(sp?) and he has now eaten well and got rid of the minch and is just the most cute and perfect dog I've ever seen.
I weighed the cons and pros for choosing a rescue dog over a puppy and decided on the rescue dog who is more in need of a loving home and care than any other. He is a grey colored Lurcher, a whippet mix in other words, and seems to have the kind of personality and exercise needs that will fit perfect with my kind of life style, and hate bad weather as much as I do. :D
I'm going to name him Ajax and we are so going to enrich eachothers lives for hopefully at least 15 years. I got a good and long lunch and work in the area but my future goal and ideal is to find long distance drives for my next job where I can take him with me on the rides. Even if I was able to now it would be more stressful for him than to just rest at home for a couple of hours, as I have about 50 stops per day and it goes in a fast pace.
I've just made his bed for him beside mine, a soft thick blanket folded for him, even though I have no doubts eventually I will invite him into the bed. I've purchased collar, leash, bowls, food, bones and treats and feeling all nervous cause soon I will get to see him... soon I'm heading off from here to pick him up, my grey little sweetheart.
And for now Isis remains and I'm stubborn ignoring my moments of reactions to her cause I love her so much. She was used to Babsan so she should be fine with Ajax as well. She is a tough little lady who tells the dogs what's not ok with a firm paw slap. She has dominated smaller dogs in the past, the amazing little kitty she is.
Jun. 4th, 2009 @ 02:27 pm
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| » My baby has to go |
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So now I have gotten settled working, earning good money and getting my own apartment here in Stockholm in a nice and almost idyllic area only 10min drive to work. And then I got cold after cold after cold and worried about my immune system... I saw the doctor and suspected allergy. I took the tests and they turned out positive on two of them. Grass... and cats. Isis, my sweetie pie was killing my immune system for me and my allergy had dramatically increased and the doctor said it could get worse if I continued to expose myself to it daily by owning a cat.
I've not wanted to do it though, cause I've had her for 6 years now and even when she has been a year with my mother and sister it is still me she seems most attached to and dependant on. She is a really special cat honestly, cause she is the only cat I know who wont jump out an open window (especial on ground floor...) and attaches herself to people like this. She grieved her lost cat companion for three days and refused to eat and slept close to my head showing how she mourned. I'm gone from her for a year and when I return she purrs like mad and pushes herself into my legs and forgets all about anything else at once and just want her momma cat to take her home. I think me giving her away will break her little cat heart. I'm trying to find friends who may be able to take her so I can visit sometimes, cause I can handle that exposure apperently. So far no luck... I want her to stay with my mom too, cause she already lived there a year and knows her well, but my mom's knees have more or less caved and she has noone who can help her with the litter box and vaccuming up all the shed fur..
My mom has commented that Isis is the most well mannered cat she has ever met and I must have raised her pretty firm and well. I think I did, I was much firmer with my cat pets when I was younger and am still convinced cats need rules and training just like dogs; they just wont perform tricks for treats (well, maybe some weirdo felines.. :) ) or to do things on command. But they are very much capable of learning not to do certain things.
Talking about cats makes me wonder what happened with Tan's rescued Harry and if he is still alive and thriving in his spoilt new attention. And how T's rescue cat is fairing nowdays, probably spoiled rotten.
Jun. 3rd, 2009 @ 05:21 pm
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| » June 3, 2009 |
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It is really that date, and I think it is years since I glanced this way to my old blog I started up as an unruly teenager with hickup emotions and passions raging wild, a little more insecure and hurt and hardened by life in many ways. I'm still not pursuing any relationship even though there are some vague interests.
I haven't written in ages and I wonder how you start up that again. I still rp World of Darkness online and have apperently developed and reached such levels that a chat think I'm fit to play the part of a Changeling King and lead a whole court of PCs. It makes me nervous at times... it's alot of responsibility. And perhaps cause I say and think that, I'm mature enough for it now.
Xue Xian. That is the name of my character. He is an ice angel, an elemental of ice and the warrior King of Summer. It has been both fun and hell to try to justify a being with an affinity for ice being a Summer and to play a character that is so rightous, fair and strong; one who endures all hardships with an unwavering courage and strength. I wanted him to be a leader character and follow the greater virtues of wisdom, courage and strength. It's difficult sometimes, I swear he is the most complex and difficult character I have ever created. He is also chinese... which is a radical one for me, whom have always hated anything remotely asian for how poorly everyone else have played them, as their anime wet fantasies. So I made him American asian, behaving and being more or less like most americans with only some of the chinese values from home at the back of his head.
He don't know kung fu and his weapon of choice is a pair of pistols. He is now at 250 hard earned XP and can kill a dragon, though he is mostly settled now to train those younger and pursuing his more lofty goal of creating an army of skillful and strong warriors to war against the Fae more actively. He is cold and hard against people, but fair. He isn't exactly "loved" but he is firmly... respected. He is a king.
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It took a couple of years for me to find my place in life, where I wanted to be in my career. I worked from the bottom and up to where I am now. I started out picking up trash from the streets and hacking ice from the streets during the winter. I came to a real work place within the same company and they praised my potential and initiative, pegged me for a jack-of-trades and let me do all kinds of interesting duties, except pick up trash - it was reserved for the "dummies". At that point I felt it was time to get a real job... I got my driving license.
I had never been behind the steering wheel in all my life and my brother lend me money for a 3 weeks crash course. I succeeded the theory test at the first try. I succeeded driving up on the first try. I had my driving license in my hand after a month and my teacher commented I had great potential as a driver.
Truth be told, I have felt that I have always had easy to learn any task I've been presented, especial practical. I can figure out technology and how things work really easy.
So I got my first official job... cleaning rich people's houses. It wasn't all that bad, it was ok, and I was allowed to drive... which I had fallen in love with at first time I got to try it. I worked for almost a year and they treated me essentially a little like crap... the pay was really poor. So I decided to move on and applied for any job where I would be able to drive.
I got the job I have now, as a courier for the official post office. I drive to about 50 places each day and carrying about 881 lb each day. I've purchased a car, a very old black Golf Manhattan from 1989.
Jun. 3rd, 2009 @ 04:58 pm
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| » Harassment |
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It seems I have to make my Journal Friends only from now on to avoid anonymous harassing through comments.
Apr. 28th, 2008 @ 07:26 pm
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| » I want to buy you flowers... |
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For some reason these lyrics made me smile. It's pretty in a way.
Mar. 26th, 2008 @ 11:02 pm
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| » Work screwed... |
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I forgot to mention one thing. My last work I quitted have just screwed me of my salary. On my card you clock in and out with it says 115 hours and they only saw fit to pay me for 95 hours and therefor screwing me out of whole 20 hours work... and sadly I haven't afforded to be in the Union so I wont get much legal help with that.
It is likely this will happen to my last salary with them next month too.
They have whined for a couple of months how their paperwork with´the customers don't ad up with the hours on our cards, while my contract says it is supposed to be full time work and my work duty is cleaning and... "other duties at the company". This means my hours shouldn't be strictly out with the customers, and in our order it says we have to keep the cars cleaned and do some work at the office, and sometimes I have even had to drive toanother workmate and help them out!
So now I have to argue with them about this and check what is going on, on Tuesday, and see if they intend to do that next salary for me... cause then I don'tintend to be there ANY hour more than the customer I go to, and not help my workmates with their job.
Furthermore they have basically screwed us of our half hour lunch too...They time it to be exactly when you step out from a customer, which means if you want your half hour you have to eat it in the car, mostly sandwiches. Second part is that a half hour later you have to be at the next customer working, so overall you will lose 10min driving anyway and only get a 20min lunch....
I should be glad to be away from there, yes, but this was really sucky done of them and now I'm in economic hell cause of them and will only manage to get by with my roomie's help until I get the salary from next job, bless her heart.
Even though I'm not a member of the Union I sent an e-mail to them telling them in detail about everything and asking for advise. It is the union this company are supposed to have a deal with, so I'll learn everything that is right and wrong, probably... and even though I'm screwed, the Union might go in and eye them real closely so they have to shape up and treat their workers with more respect and stop screwing them over...
Full time is not 95 hours, that is 60% and they have no right to tie up anyone for full time when they don't give them full time work to do... Then it will be on-the-call jobs which will be much more expensive.. Teaches me how sucky cleaning jobs is anyway and how unserious companies can be...
I hope for the Norway job so I can get myself back on my feet.
Mar. 24th, 2008 @ 09:57 am
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| » I Hate Christmas |
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There is no love for Christmas what so ever. I feel nothing when the holidays approach, and this is thanks to my family. The slow killing of Christmas begun when I was 13 when my mother said it didn't matter cause we weren't a real family without a man. It continued the Christmas when she headed of to party in the evenings.
And it has just degenerated from there with just talk about money and gifts tossed around like it is some capitalism competition for affection through material things.
Today I came home over Christmas and found my lazy ass sister hasn't helped at all with what my mother needs help with while her arm is in a too bad shape and her health is poor. So I... who already clean houses EVERY day for a few months at my work... is guilt tripped into cleaning the apartment. And then my mother decides to drink with a friend and my sister guilt trips me about not wanting to take a cab home alone so I stay up two hours for her to pick her up.
Then my mother is so drunk that she calls a friend an hour drive away and then badgers and guilt trips at me and insults me cause I wont drive her to that friend, 2am in the middle of the night, which would have me come back home at 4am.
I got up 6am today... I was on a 8 hours bus ride to get here... I cleaned the house, I picked up my sister, and then she wants me, despite being in a too tired condition to drive, to drive her and make me drive home when I've been up nearly 24 hours...
And then she calls me mean and ruining all her fun and never doing anything for her...
I'm just fed up with it all. I'm -sick and tired- of it. My week of visits has lowered to three days tops of managing to put up with it. I only see them on Christmas... I never put any effort into seeing them otherwise. That has to tell them something.
All this selfishness makes me mad and it makes me want to cry. I'm used cause I'm nice by both my mother and my sister (sometimes the apple doesn't fall far from the tree..) and my brother only tries to boss me and tell me what kind of car I should drive, what kind of training I should do, etc...
This family is in short bad for me. Imagine that.
I am beginning to get far too old to want to put up with it. I'm an adult now. I'm going to start to demand there is no drinking when I visit or I wont come. They can be fucking sober for three days.
Dec. 23rd, 2007 @ 02:20 am
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