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Ajax 2
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Jun. 5th, 2009 @ 11:49 pm
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I woke up feeling slightly disheartened and wondering a little how this would go but still adoring this beautiful creature he is. During the night at 3am he had paced and I quickly walked him to not allow an accident to happen and after that we slept for another 6 hours, he peacefully and without accidents.
He moved over to the bed when he noticed I had woken up and when I laid my head by the bedside he leaned in to give me good morning kisses and then padded off again and got some breakfast.
After dinnertime I took him with me in the car and drove to my friend Ehva and her adopted lurcher Kira. Kira is very dominant and barked his ears off for a short while to show who is the boss. He tucked in his tail and submitted to her and all was well after that. And then... Ajax fell completely heads over heels in love with Kira. :) He observed her very closely and started to imitate her behavior with us humans. She is very loving and playful, and absolutely love us humans. So when she ran over for kisses Ajax soon followed her positive behavior and started to do the same.
He was more reserved towards Ehva but started to bound even more with me and glanced to me to see what I thought or did about things.
When we came inside it was the first time I saw him wag his tail and showing me what kind of dog he really is under that insecure shell. He is nervous around hands and food offered so we think people in the streets offered him food to beckon him close enough to hit him. So now we are working on a few simple and careful exercises to get him used to hands and learn we aren't going to harm him when he gets treats offered.
The highlight of today was when we found a fenced area and closed it up and then set the dogs free and watched as they fully stretched out. Ajax turned into a COMPLETELY different dog and jumped around with total happiness, rushed over to me for kisses and wagging tail and even at one point rolled over to his back for a quick belly rub.
I'm so glad to have seen all this today and now know there is definitely hope for Ajax to reach harmony with me and even other people, and his therapy help is Kira. I and Ehva decided to see eachother more often and let Kira influence Ajax to become more secure and understand we don't mean him any harm.
Regarding petting he isn't scared of it per say... he doesn't seem to understand what it is for, like he isn't used to be petted.
He already lift his ears and looks to me when I say his new name.. and it has just gone a day.Current Mood:  happy Current Music: Raubtier - Dobermann |
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Ajax
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Jun. 4th, 2009 @ 11:52 pm
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He is so far behaving a little oddly, like an abused dog. He flinch a little when you pet him. Otherwise he has eaten, drinken and even peed outside and now sleeps... but he is a little unsure of me right now and glances at me carefully sometimes and gave me a little kiss when I took of his leash after a walk. But he acts like he walks on eggshells around me, and Isis. Her first reaction was a hiss at the door and he didn't know if he dared to enter our home at first. After that he ignored her completely, ignored me some.. and Isis acts like normal and doesn't care much about a dog being here either, glances at him sometimes and then just rubs happily up against my legs. She clearly doesn't see him as any threat and he doesn't seem the least interested in her. This leads me to believe he must be experienced with interacting with cats from his past, his home before he was thrown out probably had cats.
He was MUCH more handsome than I imagined from the pictures..
Now all the hard work begins to gain his trust and affection. He wants love, he is just very, very shy right now... I have settled on leaving him alone for today some, let him sleep and rest fully after his adventorous and stressful journey to Sweden.
He is sleeping right now, sound and deep, loving his really soft and comfy bed. He laid on the floor in the kitchen at first before I moved his bed in there, and then he claimed it at once and nuzzled his nose in.
Excited to see how next day will be and practicing patience now. I have great faith in him, I know he will come around once he gets to know me. It might take days... but it might also take weeks before he comes out of that shell and grows confidence. I know when that time comes I will have a really great friend and I don't feel bad about not having chosen the at once affectionate puppy, this still feels good despite him right now mostly ignoring me.
Another sort of funny thing... I offered food to him and he wouldn't touch the bowl at first, just looked at me several times until he was -absolutely- sure I would let him have the food and only settled to eat when I sat down on the floor and seemed disinterested in the food and relaxed. He treats me like this scary new alpha right now.Current Mood:  nervous |
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http://www.neverneverland.se/aktuella.hundar.2008/murphy/aktuell.murphy.htm
Today I'm picking up my rescue dog from the airport. He is from Ireland where he was found starved horribly and with minch(sp?) and he has now eaten well and got rid of the minch and is just the most cute and perfect dog I've ever seen.
I weighed the cons and pros for choosing a rescue dog over a puppy and decided on the rescue dog who is more in need of a loving home and care than any other. He is a grey colored Lurcher, a whippet mix in other words, and seems to have the kind of personality and exercise needs that will fit perfect with my kind of life style, and hate bad weather as much as I do. :D
I'm going to name him Ajax and we are so going to enrich eachothers lives for hopefully at least 15 years. I got a good and long lunch and work in the area but my future goal and ideal is to find long distance drives for my next job where I can take him with me on the rides. Even if I was able to now it would be more stressful for him than to just rest at home for a couple of hours, as I have about 50 stops per day and it goes in a fast pace.
I've just made his bed for him beside mine, a soft thick blanket folded for him, even though I have no doubts eventually I will invite him into the bed. I've purchased collar, leash, bowls, food, bones and treats and feeling all nervous cause soon I will get to see him... soon I'm heading off from here to pick him up, my grey little sweetheart.
And for now Isis remains and I'm stubborn ignoring my moments of reactions to her cause I love her so much. She was used to Babsan so she should be fine with Ajax as well. She is a tough little lady who tells the dogs what's not ok with a firm paw slap. She has dominated smaller dogs in the past, the amazing little kitty she is.Current Mood:  bouncy Current Music: Raubtier - Dobermann |
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So now I have gotten settled working, earning good money and getting my own apartment here in Stockholm in a nice and almost idyllic area only 10min drive to work. And then I got cold after cold after cold and worried about my immune system... I saw the doctor and suspected allergy. I took the tests and they turned out positive on two of them. Grass... and cats. Isis, my sweetie pie was killing my immune system for me and my allergy had dramatically increased and the doctor said it could get worse if I continued to expose myself to it daily by owning a cat.
I've not wanted to do it though, cause I've had her for 6 years now and even when she has been a year with my mother and sister it is still me she seems most attached to and dependant on. She is a really special cat honestly, cause she is the only cat I know who wont jump out an open window (especial on ground floor...) and attaches herself to people like this. She grieved her lost cat companion for three days and refused to eat and slept close to my head showing how she mourned. I'm gone from her for a year and when I return she purrs like mad and pushes herself into my legs and forgets all about anything else at once and just want her momma cat to take her home. I think me giving her away will break her little cat heart. I'm trying to find friends who may be able to take her so I can visit sometimes, cause I can handle that exposure apperently. So far no luck... I want her to stay with my mom too, cause she already lived there a year and knows her well, but my mom's knees have more or less caved and she has noone who can help her with the litter box and vaccuming up all the shed fur..
My mom has commented that Isis is the most well mannered cat she has ever met and I must have raised her pretty firm and well. I think I did, I was much firmer with my cat pets when I was younger and am still convinced cats need rules and training just like dogs; they just wont perform tricks for treats (well, maybe some weirdo felines.. :) ) or to do things on command. But they are very much capable of learning not to do certain things.
Talking about cats makes me wonder what happened with Tan's rescued Harry and if he is still alive and thriving in his spoilt new attention. And how T's rescue cat is fairing nowdays, probably spoiled rotten.Current Mood:  depressed |
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It is really that date, and I think it is years since I glanced this way to my old blog I started up as an unruly teenager with hickup emotions and passions raging wild, a little more insecure and hurt and hardened by life in many ways. I'm still not pursuing any relationship even though there are some vague interests.
I haven't written in ages and I wonder how you start up that again. I still rp World of Darkness online and have apperently developed and reached such levels that a chat think I'm fit to play the part of a Changeling King and lead a whole court of PCs. It makes me nervous at times... it's alot of responsibility. And perhaps cause I say and think that, I'm mature enough for it now.
Xue Xian. That is the name of my character. He is an ice angel, an elemental of ice and the warrior King of Summer. It has been both fun and hell to try to justify a being with an affinity for ice being a Summer and to play a character that is so rightous, fair and strong; one who endures all hardships with an unwavering courage and strength. I wanted him to be a leader character and follow the greater virtues of wisdom, courage and strength. It's difficult sometimes, I swear he is the most complex and difficult character I have ever created. He is also chinese... which is a radical one for me, whom have always hated anything remotely asian for how poorly everyone else have played them, as their anime wet fantasies. So I made him American asian, behaving and being more or less like most americans with only some of the chinese values from home at the back of his head.
He don't know kung fu and his weapon of choice is a pair of pistols. He is now at 250 hard earned XP and can kill a dragon, though he is mostly settled now to train those younger and pursuing his more lofty goal of creating an army of skillful and strong warriors to war against the Fae more actively. He is cold and hard against people, but fair. He isn't exactly "loved" but he is firmly... respected. He is a king.
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It took a couple of years for me to find my place in life, where I wanted to be in my career. I worked from the bottom and up to where I am now. I started out picking up trash from the streets and hacking ice from the streets during the winter. I came to a real work place within the same company and they praised my potential and initiative, pegged me for a jack-of-trades and let me do all kinds of interesting duties, except pick up trash - it was reserved for the "dummies". At that point I felt it was time to get a real job... I got my driving license.
I had never been behind the steering wheel in all my life and my brother lend me money for a 3 weeks crash course. I succeeded the theory test at the first try. I succeeded driving up on the first try. I had my driving license in my hand after a month and my teacher commented I had great potential as a driver.
Truth be told, I have felt that I have always had easy to learn any task I've been presented, especial practical. I can figure out technology and how things work really easy.
So I got my first official job... cleaning rich people's houses. It wasn't all that bad, it was ok, and I was allowed to drive... which I had fallen in love with at first time I got to try it. I worked for almost a year and they treated me essentially a little like crap... the pay was really poor. So I decided to move on and applied for any job where I would be able to drive.
I got the job I have now, as a courier for the official post office. I drive to about 50 places each day and carrying about 881 lb each day. I've purchased a car, a very old black Golf Manhattan from 1989.Current Mood:  thoughtful Current Music: The Offspring - You're gonna go far kid |
| » Harassment |
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It seems I have to make my Journal Friends only from now on to avoid anonymous harassing through comments.
Apr. 28th, 2008 @ 07:26 pm
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| » I want to buy you flowers... |
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For some reason these lyrics made me smile. It's pretty in a way.
Mar. 26th, 2008 @ 11:02 pm
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| » Work screwed... |
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I forgot to mention one thing. My last work I quitted have just screwed me of my salary. On my card you clock in and out with it says 115 hours and they only saw fit to pay me for 95 hours and therefor screwing me out of whole 20 hours work... and sadly I haven't afforded to be in the Union so I wont get much legal help with that.
It is likely this will happen to my last salary with them next month too.
They have whined for a couple of months how their paperwork with´the customers don't ad up with the hours on our cards, while my contract says it is supposed to be full time work and my work duty is cleaning and... "other duties at the company". This means my hours shouldn't be strictly out with the customers, and in our order it says we have to keep the cars cleaned and do some work at the office, and sometimes I have even had to drive toanother workmate and help them out!
So now I have to argue with them about this and check what is going on, on Tuesday, and see if they intend to do that next salary for me... cause then I don'tintend to be there ANY hour more than the customer I go to, and not help my workmates with their job.
Furthermore they have basically screwed us of our half hour lunch too...They time it to be exactly when you step out from a customer, which means if you want your half hour you have to eat it in the car, mostly sandwiches. Second part is that a half hour later you have to be at the next customer working, so overall you will lose 10min driving anyway and only get a 20min lunch....
I should be glad to be away from there, yes, but this was really sucky done of them and now I'm in economic hell cause of them and will only manage to get by with my roomie's help until I get the salary from next job, bless her heart.
Even though I'm not a member of the Union I sent an e-mail to them telling them in detail about everything and asking for advise. It is the union this company are supposed to have a deal with, so I'll learn everything that is right and wrong, probably... and even though I'm screwed, the Union might go in and eye them real closely so they have to shape up and treat their workers with more respect and stop screwing them over...
Full time is not 95 hours, that is 60% and they have no right to tie up anyone for full time when they don't give them full time work to do... Then it will be on-the-call jobs which will be much more expensive.. Teaches me how sucky cleaning jobs is anyway and how unserious companies can be...
I hope for the Norway job so I can get myself back on my feet.
Mar. 24th, 2008 @ 09:57 am
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| » I Hate Christmas |
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There is no love for Christmas what so ever. I feel nothing when the holidays approach, and this is thanks to my family. The slow killing of Christmas begun when I was 13 when my mother said it didn't matter cause we weren't a real family without a man. It continued the Christmas when she headed of to party in the evenings.
And it has just degenerated from there with just talk about money and gifts tossed around like it is some capitalism competition for affection through material things.
Today I came home over Christmas and found my lazy ass sister hasn't helped at all with what my mother needs help with while her arm is in a too bad shape and her health is poor. So I... who already clean houses EVERY day for a few months at my work... is guilt tripped into cleaning the apartment. And then my mother decides to drink with a friend and my sister guilt trips me about not wanting to take a cab home alone so I stay up two hours for her to pick her up.
Then my mother is so drunk that she calls a friend an hour drive away and then badgers and guilt trips at me and insults me cause I wont drive her to that friend, 2am in the middle of the night, which would have me come back home at 4am.
I got up 6am today... I was on a 8 hours bus ride to get here... I cleaned the house, I picked up my sister, and then she wants me, despite being in a too tired condition to drive, to drive her and make me drive home when I've been up nearly 24 hours...
And then she calls me mean and ruining all her fun and never doing anything for her...
I'm just fed up with it all. I'm -sick and tired- of it. My week of visits has lowered to three days tops of managing to put up with it. I only see them on Christmas... I never put any effort into seeing them otherwise. That has to tell them something.
All this selfishness makes me mad and it makes me want to cry. I'm used cause I'm nice by both my mother and my sister (sometimes the apple doesn't fall far from the tree..) and my brother only tries to boss me and tell me what kind of car I should drive, what kind of training I should do, etc...
This family is in short bad for me. Imagine that.
I am beginning to get far too old to want to put up with it. I'm an adult now. I'm going to start to demand there is no drinking when I visit or I wont come. They can be fucking sober for three days.
Dec. 23rd, 2007 @ 02:20 am
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| » Singing moment... |
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This is too hilerious, I have to share...
"Whoa... what are you doing?! We are singing here!"
Nov. 25th, 2007 @ 12:54 am
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| » RIP Babsan |
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I can't believe it... my friendly huge happy polar bear doesn't exist anymore. I just received an e-mail letting me know they found a tumor that couldn't be treated and yesterday she was put to sleep.
She just didn't deserve that fate... She lived happy in a big family with other dogs in the country and was going to become a mother to the spring, and now she's gone. I was going to see her too but they never returned my e-mail and just wrote they were sorry I didn't have a chance to see her before she was gone.
Still a bit in a state of shock over the sudden e-mail, I just need to melt the news. All pet owners think their pets will live for an eternity. She died almost five years old.
Nov. 2nd, 2007 @ 05:12 pm
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| » Poetry reading |
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Ok, I'm quite nervous and I've been so undisciplined and stupid I haven't had the inspiration to finish writing this poem so I could start practicing it, and even after I had hard time focusing. Today I start rehearsing it to memorize. I got tomorrow too... and then I'm supposed to know it and know it before an audience on Friday evening.
It'll be a queer culture event and I promised one of the organizers of the event to read a poem with LGBT theme. I looked through my old poems, I should have taken one of them. But they were just that... very old. I wanted something new, fresh, something written for this particular topic purely and not just some 20 year old girl's lesbian crushes.
So I did... I'm a bit pleased with how it turned out, but less pleased and more nervous about reading it before an audience. I'll vomit and then I'll die... or both at same time.
The poem turned out to be about the nervous feeling you have discovering you fall in love with another girl (yes, it's heavily lesbian themed, it can't be helped... besides, gay men have alot of literature anyway as it is), the condemnment you go through and how happy you feel and finally the pain from your family and loved ones. It's a prayer to just be loved, much of it directed to the mother "black matriarch in your hands, mother!"
And at the end, and here is the most nervous part... I need to be able to shout "WHY? MOTHER WHY?"
It's... a pretty intense text I've written. I almost wish I could get someone who is more of an actor to perform what I write. I would love to see someone who can truly act give the life I want to my words. Maybe it'll be a later project..
Oct. 24th, 2007 @ 09:14 pm
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| » Update, update |
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So time for a more general update and babbling... I have realized I truly want to try out new hobbies and the first on the list might end up being ice hockey... My next thing I wont be able to pick up until next year sometime with better paycheck and arranged economy... car racing.
In less general terms, amateur car racing with regular cars. I got a friend to the family who is into that and can help me get a car into order for it and train me up.
Third hobby will be to the spring, riding longboards, a perfect way to spend the warmer days doing.
I suppose this is also my way of moving and exercising since I get no real motivation from aerobics, gym training and the like. I'll get it imbed into my hobbies instead, doing something -fun- while working out and moving about.
I want to further my driving license so I can drive something big and more fun... plans for the future! I looove driving, that's for sure.
Oct. 13th, 2007 @ 06:40 pm
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| » Shock image |
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Think...
Oct. 13th, 2007 @ 11:21 am
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| » Grrrrrrr..... |
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FUCKING F!!! Fucking management at my former work. Just FUCK them. Now I'm completely pissed and they've driven me long enough for this.
First I was promised a raise and had to wait about -three- freaking months before they sorted out the mess that they had forgotten to give me the right salary.
And now they make their second strike mistake that my sick days are UNPAID for some fucked up management mistake reason, which has reduced my salary into half with the right salary I missed those three months.
I can't even begin to tell how FURIOUS I am right now, not to mention frustrated. I want my fucking earned money. I busted my ASS at that job, hard physical labor for 8 hours a day with plenty of stress and no understanding for being new at it and be dumbified.
FUCK THEM if they think I'll ever go back to that job if they have an opening in the future. No freaking way. They liked the work I did for them, but they didn't care for their resources, so bye bye.
I'm pissed now... they better fix this mistake within next week.
Sep. 21st, 2007 @ 09:01 pm
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| » RP Update |
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A few characters I've been working on the past couple of weeks since I got my hands on Changeling the Lost.
My Ice Elemental, Summer Court. http://www.flappingmouse.com/Characters/Shuang.html
My Shadow Elemental, Winter Court. http://www.flappingmouse.com/Characters/Rory.html
My wolfhound mutt Beast, Summer Court. http://www.flappingmouse.com/Characters/Ajax.html
Also running an idea of a Toreador in a new old WoD place opening up... an evil Cammie Torrie. *grins* The best kind to be!
Sep. 20th, 2007 @ 06:39 pm
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| » (No Subject) |
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Of course she didn't call... after she had... checked her calender...
Lame.
Sep. 13th, 2007 @ 12:42 am
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| » (No Subject) |
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When you txt her asking what she is doing this weekend and she answers "I don't know yet, it's too far into the future. Let me check my schedule and I'll let you know tomorrow!" it's never a good sign...
Sigh.
Ce'st la vie.
Sep. 12th, 2007 @ 01:06 am
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| » More kittens... |
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This is Gaia watching Scrubs... uploaded it to Youtube.
Sep. 7th, 2007 @ 04:27 pm
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